Forgiveness

This may come as a shock (insert sarcasm) to many but I have an announcement: I am flawed. I am oh so very flawed.  One of my biggest flaws? Forgiving. I am the absolute worst at forgiving. Not only do I find it difficult to forgive those who have hurt me but I find it impossible to forgive those who have caused pain on the people I love. This is especially true when it comes to my husband.  I will hold a grudge for him. I will be angry for him. I will hurt for him. Whether it happened 20 years or 20 minutes ago, I cannot and will not let it go.

When I married Steven I took on his hurt, grudges, and anger and he did the same in return. I think it’s normal to feel pain for your spouse and you want so badly for them to receive the justification that you believe they deserve.But in reality, that may never come and the only harm you’re inflicting is on yourself.

A couple months ago I heard a song on K-Love and it just speaks to me (like so many of their songs do). Their song “Forgiveness” has taught me a lesson. The only person I’m hurting is me.

“It’ll clear
the bitterness away

It can even set a prisoner free

There is no end to what it’s power can do

So, let it go and be amazed

By what you see through eyes of grace

The prisoner that it really frees is you”

My mom is the absolute best at forgiving. There were times when I thought she was weak to forgive so easily but that couldn’t be further from the truth. It takes an incredibly strong woman (and man) to forgive and it is something I admire.

With the same strength that it takes to forgive, comes the strength to say “I’m sorry”. Although forgiveness can set you free, the words “I’m sorry” might be setting someone else free (maybe a future blog post?).

Although there is no doubt I will continue to struggle with this, I promise to work on it. I promise to be quicker to say I’m sorry and I promise to forgive more freely. If God can forgive me, who am I not to forgive others?

xoxo,

Kathleen