Forgiveness

This may come as a shock (insert sarcasm) to many but I have an announcement: I am flawed. I am oh so very flawed.  One of my biggest flaws? Forgiving. I am the absolute worst at forgiving. Not only do I find it difficult to forgive those who have hurt me but I find it impossible to forgive those who have caused pain on the people I love. This is especially true when it comes to my husband.  I will hold a grudge for him. I will be angry for him. I will hurt for him. Whether it happened 20 years or 20 minutes ago, I cannot and will not let it go.

When I married Steven I took on his hurt, grudges, and anger and he did the same in return. I think it’s normal to feel pain for your spouse and you want so badly for them to receive the justification that you believe they deserve.But in reality, that may never come and the only harm you’re inflicting is on yourself.

A couple months ago I heard a song on K-Love and it just speaks to me (like so many of their songs do). Their song “Forgiveness” has taught me a lesson. The only person I’m hurting is me.

“It’ll clear
the bitterness away

It can even set a prisoner free

There is no end to what it’s power can do

So, let it go and be amazed

By what you see through eyes of grace

The prisoner that it really frees is you”

My mom is the absolute best at forgiving. There were times when I thought she was weak to forgive so easily but that couldn’t be further from the truth. It takes an incredibly strong woman (and man) to forgive and it is something I admire.

With the same strength that it takes to forgive, comes the strength to say “I’m sorry”. Although forgiveness can set you free, the words “I’m sorry” might be setting someone else free (maybe a future blog post?).

Although there is no doubt I will continue to struggle with this, I promise to work on it. I promise to be quicker to say I’m sorry and I promise to forgive more freely. If God can forgive me, who am I not to forgive others?

xoxo,

Kathleen

Birthday Girl

This past week I celebrated my 27^th birthday. In dog years I would be 191 (whoa). Do you know what the best part about turning 27 is? That I am only three years away from having the best birthday party ever. Turning 30 is monumental which calls for a monumental party, obvi. Anyways, back to what this post is really about. Over my long 27 years (my parents would laugh at this) I’ve learned a lot. If you think about it, you grow up in your 20’s. Most graduate college, move cities or states, begin their careers, purchase a home and car, get married, start families, and begin their 401k. That is a whole lot of growing up. Here are a few things that I’ve learned along the way:

·         Bills don’t pay themselves

·         Dinner parties are actually cool

·         One bottle of wine is equal to four glasses (three depending on who’s pouring)

·         A wedding open bar is the shiz...scratch that, any open bar is the shiz

·         It is totally acceptable to go to bed at 10pm sharp

·         Pinterest crafts are not as easy as they appear (don’t be fooled)

·         Cooking can be enjoyable

Getting older really isn’t that bad and to be completely honest, I kind of enjoy it. I really feel that Steven and I are in this journey called life together and I get so excited thinking about our future. But as much as I am excited about our future, I am enjoying our journey along the way. My life is blessed and I thank God for each year that I am given. I can’t wait to see what 27 has in store for me.

Oh Baby, Baby

After you take that trip down the aisle people are ready to see you take another trip…to labor and delivery. My own dad told me that my biological clock is ticking. I’m 26.  Which to some of my family, I may as well be 80 and childless (they start young). So why is it that after you say “I do” that people instantly assume it’s time for you to pop out a little one? I’m talking to you Facebook; you can stop with the baby advertisements.

Right now, I am perfectly content in growing my relationship with my husband first. We will be the foundation of our family and it is important to us that we also achieve some of our personal goals. Every day we learn new things about each other as well as how to grow and nurture our marriage through God.  

Although Steven and I are still unsure of when we will have kids (we just learned that although I thought we had agreed on a year, he thought we had agreed on a completely different year), we know we are maturing because we actually think babies are kind of cool. But one thing will always stay the same- growing a real life human inside of you is weird and that whole part about delivering it is gross.

I am excited about growing our family and Steven and I both laugh when we think of our future children (their middle school years will be interesting) but it’s all in good timing. Although we have a plan, God has the ultimate plan. So while we wait, we will continue to mark things off our BBJ list (Before Baby Jeffers).  I recommend each married couple to do this. It is a simple list of things that you and your spouse would like to accomplish before having children. Below is a list of some of the topics we covered in ours.

Until next time, cheers!

Before Baby List Ideas:

·         Save a particular amount of money

·         Trips to go on

·         Buy a home/ furnish a home

·         Pay off student loans

Does it look like she is ready to give up her single child status?

The Beginning

love  
/ləv/

Noun An intense feeling of deep affection

I can’t remember a time that I wasn’t obsessed with love. Per the definition, I seriously have an intense feeling and a very (worrisome) deep affection for love. Growing up, one of my favorite shows was TLC’s A Wedding Story and for Halloween I was probably a wedding girl 50% of the time (please note, never a bride). I mean lets be real, that is not normal. I have been OBSESSED (and that is an understatement) with weddings and of course, love. So when I became engaged, I was beyond ecstatic. It was my turn to plan my own wedding story.  So through all the colors, details, and fluff I planned my fabulous day and had my perfect wedding story. But what happens after the wedding story? What happens after you take that walk down the aisle and say ‘I do’?

You’re married and 20 something.

Nobody ever talks about what happens after the wedding. I mean cooking? Who knew that would be such an inconvenience. Cleaning, don’t get me started. In-laws…isn’t that word just enough to give you chills? Money, what’s mine is yours. Oh yes, and the single friends. The girlfriends that are desperately seeking their Mr. Forever and partying like we all secretly wish we still could.

  Follow my journey as I learn to balance life as a 20 something and married.